Why exercise? Take it easy and help your nation

Healthy living endangers national economies all over the world.

This, allegedly, straight from a top Euro Exim Bank official’s mouth (a re-translation, thus, no direct speech quotation marks): a bicycle rider equals catastrophic consequences for his country’s economics.

Here’s why, the egg-head apparently went on: a bicycle rider won’t buy himself a car (let’s assume he included women in his rant, too).

That means, that this irresponsible bicycle rider won’t ask banks to lend him money.

On top of all that, a bicycle rider doesn’t buy himself (or herself, as the case may be) any insurance. And never mind that he doesn’t buy a single drop of fuel, and he’s not paying for necessary repairs and maintenance, either.

When a bicycle rider stops to go to work, or something like that, he doesn’t pay for parking. Shame or what?

And, too, quite irresponsibly, there haven’t been too many cases of serious highway accidents caused by bicycle riders.

Not only that, bicycle riders do not require new lanes on our highways.

Show me an obese bicycle rider: you won’t find one, even if you looked for one using a flashlight at midday.

So far as national economies go, healthy people are perfectly useless.

Why? They don’t buy any medications. Their visits to see doctors or trips to hospitals are minimal, to say the least.

To sum up, bicycle riders do not contribute to any country’s gross domestic product (GDP).

Fast food: a GDP booster

Compare THAT to, say, any new fast-food joint that springs up (and they do with surprising speed).

Even if we exclude those who’re working there, any such place helps create thirty highly qualified new job opportunities: ten cardiologists, ten stomatologists (experts in dental and other mouth issues), and ten experts for diets and nutrition.

Those, in turn, have to build their offices, get at least the essential equipment, hire support staff, and whatnot.

Of course, if it really was the good old Euro Exim Bank poohbah who said all that, and more, he forgot to mention pedestrians: these ignoramuses abstain from buying bicycles, even. OK, OK, many of them buy shoes from time to time, but so what, everybody does.

Now, lest anyone thinks a bank like this can’t exist, here’s its brief description (using their own words): Euro Exim Bank Limited is an innovative global financial institution with its head office in St. Lucia and representative office in London (England). Euro Exim Bank is an associate member of the Caribbean Association of Banks Inc. (CAB). They hold a “Class A” international banking licence from Financial Services Regulatory Authority (FSRA) of St. Lucia. This licence provides authorisation to conduct business with third parties across industries and geographies worldwide, exercising strong due diligence, full compliance and operational excellence in their processes.

Impressive or impressive?

A request for information, asking to confirm, deny, or clarify the alleged rant, sent to the bank using their own e-mail address as listed on their own website, caused a curt reply saying that the delivery failed: the address either does not exist, or you don’t have the right to send any messages to it (as if it was a social media group).

That same message, sent using the website’s contact page, generated a simple reply: we’ve got it and we’ll be in touch. You know the one: most cynics call it being put on ignore.

Quite a few days have passed since then. It looks as if it’s safe to assume no real reply other than the cookie-cutter “your call is important to us” is forthcoming.

Yes, assumption is one of the worst sins in journalism, but, in some cases, they tend to be more specific than others. Here, the bank does exist, and the rant has appeared widely in several sources’ reports, with not many signs of what is known as cross-pollination (someone publishes blatant nonsense, others pick it up without much checking of their own, and the story starts living a life of its own).

Still, we cannot safely ignore the allegation that it was Euro Exim Bank Limited’s boss who had made the statement.

Why?

Because he’s not alone in making such statements. Many have gone much further, and nobody noticed sufficiently to accuse them that they were making a complete pigs’ breakfast of humanity’s future.

What’s innovation?

The Euro Exim Bank Limited bank describes itself as innovative. If it finds its CEO’s statements acceptable, it must have forgotten that innovation does not necessarily equal progress.

The trend seems almost unstoppable. Everybody and their dog love smart whatever, newest exploits of artificial intelligence are hailed as the greatest achievement humanity can hope for, and nobody seems to be overly worried about the blatant intrusion into their privacy. The most frequent reaction: ah, so what, they (whoever that might be) would be doing it, anyway, so, why worry. Artificial intelligence, by the way, is called AI, for short, and that bothers nobody: everything and everyone these days seem to be satisfied with abbreviated descriptions.

This is called dumbing down the population. The plan is shockingly simple: people educated to remain illiterate will accept what the authorities tell them (they’ve been doing it in overwhelming fashion, accepting perfectly unsubstantiated calls that they should be scared beyond any logical levels).

Canadians chuckle when they hear Americans who persistently believe that their neighbours north of the 49th parallel still find igloos their preferred accommodation.

Meanwhile, Americans raise their eyebrows sky-high when they hear that their neighbours north of the 49th parallel still don’t remember the names of all American states (ask any American high school student to name them, and all you’ll hear is the sound of silence).

And don’t ask university graduates in both countries to tell you how many continents there are, and name them. Not necessarily in alphabetic order, even. That would mean you’re showing a privilege that’s mode du jour just at that moment.

Don’t ask university doctoral graduates on other continents to name but three U.S. Presidents, or, for that matter, but three former Canadian Prime Ministers. And never mind the number of Canada’s provinces and their names.

Asking any of them to tell you how much is two plus two without using their calculator would equal cruel and unusual punishment.

Compared to that, the Euro Exim Bank poohbah’s rant is but baby blathering.

That’s how deep we’ve sunk.

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