Doctorates in hooking? What’s next?

Nothing beats paying a premium for the services of a hooker who’s got an academic degree in prostitution.

Yes. In addition to the many American universities that would bring in top-notch athletes by offering them such academically demanding courses like Basket Weaving 101, the good olde England went one step further. Its Durham University now offers courses for what we have got used to call “sex work.” That, in and of itself is a typical example of the idiocy known as political correctness. Even the “oldest profession on earth” was better, and the straightforward description as “prostitution” worked the best.

Age of institutions such as schools, hospitals, newspapers, and whatnot, are the best recommendation in good olde England, and Durham University passes the test with flying colours: a collegiate public research university founded by an Act of Parliament in 1832 and incorporated by King William IV’s Royal Charter in 1837. The first recognised university to open in England for more than 600 years, after Oxford and Cambridge, it’s the third-oldest university in England.

More than 3,000 collect their pay packets at Durham University, about a third of them come from all over the world but Great Britain. More than 4,500 international students from 156 countries study there, and it must surprise terribly some of them that prostitution, no matter how politely named, is an academic subject. Given the variety of moral attitudes among Durham University’s student body, there must be some who view prostitution as a mortal sin, worthy of stoning.

The finals for sex work doctorates at Durham University must be something to cheer on.

Traditionally, English universities call for written papers, to be followed by face-to-face question-and-answer sessions with the examiners, culminating with practical examinations, a.k.a. in vivo.

Can you imagine a paper asking the candidate to explain, for example, how to satisfy a client who wants repeated service for the price of one (a buy-two-pay-for-one deal), to be asked in the face-to-face session to describe what to do when a client fails to have an erection and thus wants his money back for service not performed, with a concluding in vivo session demanding that the doctoral candidate perform some kind of an unusual perversion while standing on her head in an aquarium?

Tough job, but someone’s got to do it, right?

But, all kidding aside, even the tasteless jokes that come to mind when debating such incredible academic developments, the Durham University newest effort has opened the Pandora box of idiocy that is typical for the last century of humanity.

Sex worker? It does equal such understatements like the military’s collateral damage that explains accidental casualties caused to your own side or to people who hadn’t been involved in the conflict in the first place. How does the description of alternative facts as an expression for outright lies sound?

What the heck?

University education costs have gone sky-high in recent decades. This has been happening partly because of the teaching staff greed. The other reason is even more sinister: way too many schools have enhanced their curricula to include perfectly useless courses such as gender studies, or other similar stuff. It’s all detached from reality. Still, these courses employ increasing numbers of (often tenured) people who know how to impress university managements into keeping up with the Joneses.

Someone’s got to pay for it. Who? Why, the students, of course.

An increasing number of students have found ways how to improve their balance sheets: they took to “working in the adult sex industry.”

The Durham Students Union (DSU) has sent out an e-mail that promotes two levels of the course. About 20,000 students received it, and so did the school’s staff.

England’s Minister for Higher and Further Education Michelle Donelan was shocked upon reading it: Durham University is “legitimising a dangerous industry,” she said, adding that Durham was “badly failing in their duty to protect,” without specifying whom.

Paying the piper

So far as Durham University is concerned, there’s nothing wrong with facing the reality of an “emerging trend:” students have been selling their sexual services because they need to cover mounting debts.

And those debts are real: according to a June 2021 British Parliamentary document, they average at £47,000 after graduation.

So, the university defends its decision by saying that this kind of training is important to “ensure students can be safe and make informed choices.”

The basic idea is simple: everybody’s got a right to university education, and if those interested in pursuing it can’t afford it, how can their school blame them for finding unusual ways to pay for their education? So long as they pay their fees regularly and on time, the school is bending over backwards by making sure they’re safe in the work they choose to perform in order to be able to pay.

In fact: how can anyone dare criticise the school if it finds such innovatively innocent ways to support its students?

The students have rights, too, the university thunders. It doesn’t mention that they (and the school, as well), should first meet their responsibilities.

As attributed to Dante Alighieri, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The sale of sex services is fraught with danger, no doubt about it. But: university students are more often than not adult people, capable of making their own decisions. Most are of voting age, many can stand for elected office.

The easiest way to free students from the burden of excessive fees is to make their schooling less expensive. That would require real courage. Some, those not scared of the usual ivory tower politically correct crowd, call it balls.

Even the fact that accepting responsibility has become a courageous thing to do tells us something about how low we’ve stooped as society.

Today, most members of the so-called civilised Western society accept as read that the sale and purchase of sexual services between consenting adults is legal. At the same time, they agree that it’s society’s obligation to protect those involved in it.

When China’s Great Helmsman, Mao Zedong, was writing his infamous Red Book decades ago, he mentioned on more occasions than one that his country will have no need to fight the West: they’re so decadent, he said, they’ll fall in our lap like overripe fruit. Like rotten fruit, he could add. He didn’t. It was too obvious in his times.

It’s even more obvious now.

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